“One of the marvels of the world is the sight of a soul sitting in prison with the key in its hand!” 
- Rumi

Introduction 
Avoidance, procrastination, escapism, things that I do through story telling. None of which I believe truly serve me to live the life I want to live. Developing techniques to become an observer of thought, and to positively challenge possible absolutes is critical for me to take aligned action to the life I want to live. 
Avoidance, procrastination and escapism can be done in many forms including drugs, sex, pornography, food, gaming, masturbation, shopping, social media or even what could be described as positive methods of avoidance such as helping others, spending more time at work or exercising. If we are doing anything to numb or suppress pain it is only prolonging and creating a cancer to that which could have been dealt with earlier to live the life we truly want to live. 

To achieve the goals I set for myself, I not only need to consider how procrastination influences my behaviour, but also how I judge myself for procrastinating. It is easy to be hard on ourselves and soft on the problem, considering ourselves failures for procrastinating. The focus should be on developing skills where we experiment with different strategies to see what works, and what doesn’t.  

There are no absolutes, no certainties. All we truly have is the present moment. If we are to have the present moments we want in the future, we need to look at how we are spending this present moment. What is it that we are doing now, that is manifesting the future moments to be those that we want? Often the biggest obstacle we all face in creating the life we want is ourselves; the thoughts we have about ourselves and our abilities to achieve what we say we want.

People are born and reared with the ability to look at the data of their lives, particularly the negative things that happen to them that negatively impact their intended goals and interests, and make inaccurate inferences and attributes about these data. Self-defeating feelings of depression, anxiety and self-hatred, as well as phobias and obsessions; still have some life preserving values even though they can lead to people feeling quite miserable. To create the future we want, we need to take a form of ‘active-directive therapy.’ Traditionally therapy would be done with a therapist or counsellor, but can be done through our own ability to question and challenge the thoughts we have. The aim is to become an observer of our thoughts and judge our thoughts, not ourselves. 

Designing problem-managing goals – Possibilities for a better future
I choose to no longer judge myself, instead I look at my actions and assess if they serve me and align with my values and the outcomes I want. I ask myself; 

What do I want to create?

What actions do I currently do that do not serve me?

What action do I need to take to achieve the outcomes I want?

 
Despite being physically very active in my life, I can be a passive person where my actions involve avoidance, procrastination and forms of escapism. 

Being present to the now is important but so is the ability to incorporate ‘design thinking’. 

“This kind of thinking highlights creativity in the search for insights and solutions. It often starts with the goal, then moves between the present and the future in the search for creative solutions. The ultimate challenge is to fit the solutions to the context.” - Gerard Egan 

We can become fixated on a problem resulting in living a cycle of pain that we wish to escape. The focus needs to become on creating the outcome we want, not what we don’t. Moving from problem-centred mode to discovery mode is key. Discovery mode involves creativity and divergent thinking. 

The biggest problem I have faced in my life has been bouts with clinical depression and heightened anxiety resulting in an inability to function. During these dark times I would endlessly focus on the problem and exacerbate the problem where my realty was distorted to absolutes. 

 The catalyst for change was after separating from my partner I saw no future, I become overwhelmed by my thoughts and beliefs of what it all meant. 

Change had to come not from focusing on the problem, but from hope of a future not yet created or even imagined. I manifested more pain resulting in suffering from what was in the past, but remained my present. 

This was my time to become an artist, an inventor, a creator; an Architect of my life. Then move from architect to builder. It wasn’t about becoming a dreamer and just setting goals, but taking action that aligned with the life I wanted.  

Emotion is energy in motion, however, I struggled to allow myself to experience all the emotions that were flowing through me. By not wanting to experience sadness, my focus became the very thing I wanted to avoid, preventing me from also experiencing everything else life had to offer. I focused on what I no longer had, rather than what I wanted. Where my focus goes energy flows. I needed to change my focus to that what I wanted in my life. We cannot enjoy the human experience if we are avoiding the human experience. It was time to stop avoiding and start creating.

Change agenda – Goals, Outcomes, Impact
Practical goals do not usually leap out fully formed. They need to be shaped or designed. Goals are specific statements about what we want and need. For most, they need the following characteristics: Has a stated outcome or outcomes. It will be clear and defined what the result will be. It is realistic, sustainable and congruent with the values of the person setting the goal. 

Setting a goal that was congruent with my values was a key characteristic that had been missing with past goal setting. Unlike other forms of goal setting this approach sees the characterises more as a form of tools to help design and shape and reshape the goals. 

My broad aim was to move my focus from the past and what I didn’t have in my life to becoming present and grateful for what I have and who I am. I wanted to become a conscious consumer to all that I consumed: what I ate, read, listened to etc. I wanted to take aligned action with my values.  

The next step was turning this into goals. This broad aim was created about two years ago now and the goals are designed based on this broad aim. Some might call it a goal however it lacked the characteristics of the goals that allow me to create the life I want. From here I create goals with the characteristics mentioned previously and continue to adjust and reshape where necessary. 

Commitment
There is no set formula, however, asking ourselves some questions can help us work out how committed we are. Some people will set goals rushing to finish them while others will stop dead in their tracks shortly after setting them. Others could set two goals having no problem accomplishing one while ignoring the other.
It might be worth asking:

-      Why should I pursue this goal?

-      Is this where I want to invest my limited resources of time, money and energy?

-      What competes for my attention?

-      What are the incentives of pursing this agenda?

-      How strong are my competing agendas?
 

“There is a difference between initial commitment to a goal and an ongoing commitment to a strategy or plan to accomplish the goal. The proof of initial commitment lies in goal-accomplishing action.” Gerard Egan 

To achieve our goals, it takes more than simply writing them down. Commitment is critical and can be formed in three forms, compliance, buy-in, and ownership. Taking ownership of the goal establishes strong commitment to achieving the goals as we have decided what the goal is, how important it is to us, and to be willing to do the work necessary to achieve the desired outcome. 

We often set goals and formulate programs to achieve the goals without considering competing agendas, which are other things in our lives that soak up time and energy. 

As someone who has battled with depression and anxiety I set a goal to spend an hour each day journaling, mediating and in nature. Competing agendas such as work, family, university, social life and my sporting pursuits were just some of the competing agendas I had to take into account. 

Ideally we are able to develop “self-regulation” where we can set goals, develop commitment to them and develop a sense of agency and assertiveness. Outcome expectations and self-efficacy beliefs are factors that affect our ability to self regulate and achieve our goals however often not considered. 

“Perceived self-efficacy refers to beliefs in one’s capabilities to organise and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations. Efficacy beliefs influence how people think, feel, motivate themselves, and act.” Albert Bandura 

Sometimes the work of developing possibilities for a better future is just what we need. For me, it freed my thinking of what was lacking in my life to seeing what I have and shaping what I wanted. This resulted in taking action which had never been experienced before. This needs to be followed by commitment to the courses of action. 

Often when we set goals, we write them down and go straight to action, leading to an undesired outcome, possibly not taking any action at all. Now that we know what we want and know how committed we are towards achieving this goal, we need to work out how we are going to achieve it. Action-though essential-is valuable only to the degree that it leads to problem-managing and opportunity-developing outcomes. 

Develop strategies for accomplishing goals
Energy flows where intention and attention goes. What aligned action can we take in achieving what we want? This change could be: to spend less time using technology and more time outside in nature. It could be to spend more time engaging with friends and family and less time on social media. Whatever change we want it needs to come from us. For me it was to focus on feeling aligned with my values and the actions I take. 

When I was suffering from anxiety and depression in 2016 all I knew was what I was experiencing was not where I wanted to be. I had to ask myself what I did want and how committed I would be to make it happen. 
I had to develop strategies that would allow me to work towards my goals even when I faced challenges. I had to develop a sense of “I can do this.” 
“Strategy is the art of identifying and choosing realistic courses of action for achieving goals and doing so under adverse conditions.” Gerard Egan 

Here are some questions worth asking to develop strategies to accomplish your goals.
- Now that I know what want, what do I need to do?
- What actions will get me to where I want to go?
- How many different ways are there to accomplish my goals?
- How do I get started?
- What can I do right now?
- What do I need to do later?

 
Choose best-fit strategies 
“Strategies to achieve goals should be, like goals themselves, specific, robust, prudent, realistic, sustainable, flexible, cost effective, and in keeping with one’s values” Gerard Egan

Now we are in decision making mode. After having brainstormed possible strategies for accomplishing our goals, we need to choose what strategy or group of strategies would best suit us to develop a plan for constructive change. 

Two key strategies for me was finding emotional support and making a positive impact in the lives of others. The strategies that we choose should be specific enough to drive a change in behaviour. Changing our behaviour can be extremely difficult and often only comes when the discomfort of the situation remaining the same is greater than the possible struggle we will go through to create the change we want. For me, I felt like it couldn’t get any worse and so the possibility of creating a better life was one I had to explore further. One of the areas I needed to explore was the possible driving forces and restraining forces to the change I wanted. Kurt Lewin developed the Force Field Analysis to help predict these possible forces. Lewin’s force field analysis: 

Facilitation and restraining forces:
-      Within myself
- From others
-      In the social setting
-      In the larger environmental setting 

Formulate viable plans 
The hardest part of formulating a plan for me is that I want it to be perfect avoiding all challenges that I could face along the way. This simply isn’t possible, however, doing the ground work to create to most viable plan at the time will be beneficial along the journey and making the changes and working towards the desired goal. 
Having identified and chosen the strategies to accomplish the goal, we need to organise these strategies into a plan. This is a sequence of actions, what I should do first, second, and so forth, in order to turn the goal into an outcome.

There are many advantages to having a plan including, through creating one develops the required discipline in order to achieve our goal. Plans can help us to preserve and not become overwhelmed when things become difficult. Through formulating a viable plan we uncover possible obstacles we might encounter along the way. 

Setting goals, devising strategies, and making and implementing plans can be done in a number of ways. One to consider is that your planning should always provide an exact blueprint for specific actions, their sequencing and the time frame. Kirschenbaum suggested to consider these three questions: 

-      How specific do activities need to be?

-      How rigid does the order have to be?

-      How soon does each activity have to be carried out?

I had a fixed mindset where things would need to be done a certain way and this did not serve me. I learnt through this process to be more flexible and in turn has developed more resilience allowing me to persevere when things didn’t go as planned.
When I started this journey I was certainly in adverse conditions, fighting an internal war, however I had to choose strategies that were aligned with my values. I worked on what aligned action I could take towards achieving the outcome I wanted. Having a plan increases our chances to achieve our goal and persevere when things become difficult. It makes our goal achievable by having steps that move us from where we are to where we want to go. 
Human beings are creative by nature and can certainly be utilised in this process of creating the life we want. Although despite often being filled with great ideas for getting things done we often do nothing beyond saying or writing down what we want and stop once we are faced with our first challenge. The work that has been discussed in this paper is often far more than we are willing to do even though it is what we need to achieve the desired outcome. One of the greatest strengths of the process is the fact that it is a process that allows us to explore what we want further. It creates buy in and with investment creates greater motivation to persevere when things become challenging. Because we have explored the possible challenges prior to facing them and supporting them with strategies that align with our values we able to persevere and not be discouraged and stop at the first hurdle. Take the time to start exploring and investing in you and the life you want to live now. We are co-creators of this life so lets get creative and make some magic.